The severity of famous people

Famous personalities also competed in wit.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart vs. Fan of

Fan: Herr Mozart, I'm thinking of start writing symphonies. Could you suggest how do I start?

Mozart: Symphony, is a very complex musical form. Start with what some simple rhymes, and gradually making it more difficult, move to the symphony.

Fan: But Herr Mozart, you started writing symphonies with 8 years.

Mozart: That's right. Because no one ever asked.

Calvin Coolidge vs. Woman at a dinner at the White House

Woman: Mr. Coolidge, I argued with my friend who told me that I could not pull out of you more than a couple of words.

Coolidge: you lost

Oscar Wilde vs. Lewis Morris

Morris: Against me there is a conspiracy - a conspiracy of silence. So what do I do?

Wilde: Join

Winston Churchill vs. Bernard Shaw

Shaw: I reserved for you a couple of tickets to the premiere. Come and grab someone from friends, if you have them.

Churchill: I can not come to the premiere, I will come to the next session, if it is

Winston Churchill vs. Bessie Braddock

Bessie Braddock: Winston, yes you are drunk!

Churchill: That's right. And you ugly. Tomorrow morning I'm sober. And you will remain ugly.

Miriam Hopkins vs. Anonymous artist

Singer: You know, my dear, and I insured her voice for 50 thousand dollars

Hopkins: How cute. And you bought them?

Ilka Chase vs. Unknown actress

Actress: I am so pleased with your book! Who do you write it?

Chase: I'm so glad you liked it! And who you read it?

Mahatma Gandhi vs. Western civilization

Reporter: What do you think of Western civilization?

Gandhi: I only "for"!

Edna Ferber vs. Noel Coward

Coward: You look almost like a man

Ferber: You too

James McNeill Whistler vs. Oscar Wilde

(after some witty jokes Whistler)

Wilde: I'd like to tell this joke

Whistler: Say, Oscar, be sure to say,

Ernest Hemingway vs. William Faulkner

Faulkner: He never used the word for the value that the reader would be useful in the dictionary

Hemingway: Poor Faulkner. He really thinks that strong emotions come from the smart words?

John Barrymore vs. The woman in the ladies' restroom

Woman: How dare you! This is for the ladies!

Barrymore: it is also madam, it is also

(Being drunk, urinating Barrymore in the ladies' toilet, and this time turned to his accuser)

Robert Benchley vs. The man in the form of

Benchley: Sir, would you call me a cab?

Man in uniform: I am not a doorman, I Navy Admiral

Benchley: Admiral? Then let the cruiser!

Niels Bohr vs. Reporter

(as seen above the entrance to the house of Bora nailed a horseshoe)

Reporter: Do you really believe that a horseshoe will bring you good luck?

Bor: Well, of course not. But I heard that it brings good luck, even those who does not believe

Groucho Marx vs. Contender in the show You Bet Your Life

Groucho: Why do so many children?

Rival: Well, I just love my wife

Groucho: I love my cigar too, but sometimes still pull it out of his mouth

Alcibiades vs.

Pericles

Pericles: When I was about as much as you and I, too, he reasoned

Alcibiades: I wish I did not know you then, because they were the best years of your

Abraham Lincoln vs. Steven Douglas

I'm going to a meeting. Do you think me in the face to go?

(After Douglas during the debate called him two-faced)

Bill Clinton vs. Dan Quayle

(when Quayle said he would fight for the presidency as a Pit Bull)

Let this experience pillars and corners on the street

Senator Fritz Hollings vs. Henry Makmastor

(when the opponent has noticed that he has to pass a test on the use of drugs)

Hollings: I will pass a drug test if you pass an IQ test

New York City Mayor Ed Koch vs. Andrew Kurtzman

(after the reporter insisted on explaining some of his controversial statements)

Koch: I can explain to you, but to comprehend it for you I'm not in a position to

Abraham Lincoln vs. A foreign diplomat

(when he saw Lincoln in his office to polish shoes themselves)

Diplomat: Mr. Lincoln, you are brushing your shoes yourself?

Lincoln: Yes, and whose boots you are clean?

Winston Churchill vs. MP

Member of Parliament: Mr. Churchill, you can not sleep, when I'm talking?

Churchill: I can not. You have to put to sleep

Frank Zappa vs. Showman Joe Pyne

(style of the show Pyne was sarcastic - as many believed, because of the fact that he suffered a leg amputation)

Pine: I think long hair make you a woman.

Zappa: I think a wooden leg makes you a table