Relationships - Separation as a ticket to a new life

Parting can be not only the pain, the loss and loss but also the ticket to a new life as a boarding house, a trip to the new family. Maybe someone will seem cynical what I'm talking about, but I suggest you look at parting, not as a problem but as a new door, which opened. Known saying - when one door closes, open the new three.

When a loved one goes away - it is very painful. As if we pulled out a piece of the living, beating heart, which is now bleeding. The wound bleeds, 7 days a week, 24 hours a day. And the reason is not important: it has left itself, or you left it, or something else happened. Have you broken up…

Loneliness, sadness, anger, resentment, despair - all this fills the soul and results in tears and screams, drunken spree or dead silence for a few months. All life is over.

Will no longer be gentle romantic relationship, no longer warm evenings together on the couch, intimate SMSki and surprises. I have no one else to entrust their dreams, plans, their most secret desires. Because love will one day end.

In each of our lives was a time at least once. And in order to move beyond the old pain that lives in us, to go towards a new relationship, I suggest starting with the past.

First, finish past hopeless relationship. They continue on in your head, in the consciousness. For example, a woman endlessly repeats the dialogue with its already ex-husband or lover, which broke up about five years ago. But she imagines she told him, and he said to her. Or so they met by chance in a store, he shuddered, but showed no mind. He was with a new girlfriend, and she, too, not one, but she saw his eyes light on it anguish in their love, their intima ... And away we go! But I'll call him right now, I told him everything, everything I say, he was wrong! Well, you tell him, and if he hears you?

You spend the time of your life, your precious energy to fight the phantoms, illusions. Look around you, where you are now, who is next to you and who you really are driving this conversation? Similarly, herself! Whether it is time to change the subject?

If you continue to be in a dead-end relationship to reality. What relations have no future? With a married man already tsaty year, and nothing has changed, or a lover who can not determine your status in his life. If you are easy to live with a loved one in different cities, countries and even continents, then this method is not for you.

Complete hopeless relationships, meet and talk, writing a letter, or simply call. Give thanks for all that has been and say goodbye. The easier you release this man, forgiving sincerely and wholeheartedly, the better will be following your relationship. Give yourself the freedom to go farther in life, to meet his good fortune.

The second thing to do after you have calmed down. Ask yourself: "What I have learned in these respects? What is learned? That understood? " Maybe you learned to cook well, taking vitamins in the morning, know the value of the rare moments when together, it's nice to sleep in an embrace, or have time to do many things simultaneously. And when you realize that you have been given this relationship, the resources, knowledge or something tangible, safely proceed to the next step. You have learned the lessons of the past have realized their mistakes and dignity, and now you have the resources to start with a white sheet.

Next, ask yourself, how am I going to live in a new way? How will I be treated to ensure that the husband does not ring when delayed at work? Or when he again forgot to buy something that I requested? What a surprise is prepared for it when it comes? How are we going to spend the weekend, what we do? As I think about it, when he forgot about our anniversary? How will a new way to respond to this?

This does not mean that we should forgive all and everything to put a brake. This means that you now have a choice in the space of options. Here is a real case from my practice.

Woman, 37 years old, divorced, has a daughter. I met the man of her youth, and they began to live together. She wants him to support her, and he will pay the loan for an apartment, bought last marriage. She asks: how to distribute the money?

Money - it is one of three themes that are not accepted to discuss at the dinner table, as well as politics, religion and sex. I tell her that there is no right answer and method. Each pair finds itself in a comfortable option for themselves. Total ticket, the husband pays big purchases and daily expenses, and the woman the money spent on women's stuff, clothes, etc., or it fully supports the family and highlights the amount of his wife's pantyhose, or are they equal pay for all, and together are saving if you want to, and so on . d. Now she has a choice of at least 4 options + infinite number of others.

Thus, the separation could become one of the major lessons and open a new door in your life. Therefore, do not be afraid to change, to change their habits, create and do not expect miracles, but chudite yourself!

Ekaterina Prokhorova, head of the club happy women blogbogini.com

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