The hotel - a place to change. Porter on the pleasures of love visitors

The hotel - a place to change. Porter on the pleasures of love visitors

The house - it's like a wife. Relatives, friends and acquaintances. Hotel - mistress. You can choose any one, two, three times. You can stay for years in the same. But always you are a guest, though sometimes permanent. There is no routine, you are ready to entertain and fulfill any desire. The hotel offers a holiday atmosphere, alcohol splash, playing music, there are a lot of new faces - a great way to take a break from home. Impossible to resist.

Option number 1 - with the employee

It is worth even the ideal family man to cross the threshold of the hotel, he immediately starts to behave like this:

- Hello, beautiful, I booked a room.

- Your passport, please.

Further, the standard dialog of the dates of accommodation and payment. Then guest flirty, screwing up one eye (you think it makes you look like James Bond?), Asks:

- I really want to have dinner in a good restaurant. Advise?

I call the next couple.

- But I do not want to dine alone, keep me company?

At this point, I'm looking at his hand, I see the ring, and usually answer:

- I'm on a diet, I'm sorry. I do not eat after six. Here's your key, room on the fifth floor, the breakfast from 6:30 to 10:30. Enjoy your vacation.

Option number 2 - with a prostitute

C If an employee did not work, then it is more compliant women. In any good hotel has its own girls, but they tend to be three times more expensive than the market value - like Coke in the mini-bar and in-store. And the girls "with low social responsibility" by not skip protection. It would seem, how to tell a prostitute from a friend, sister or even the wife of a guest? Once the protection of our hotel has managed to take over the call girl Russian wife (tall blonde in leather pants and coat) of Italian fashion designer. Our harsh colleagues refused to let her in the room, until materyaschiysya Italian husband did not bring passports with stamps.

But usually the protection is not mistaken: almost all district girls she already knows in the face. In addition, security watching the entrance to the hotel and see how foreign cars brought lonely girls without luggage, who are trying to go directly to the lifts, while not having a key, and then the situation is obvious. Of course, if the guest brings the girl a taxi, registers it and leads to the room - we already do not care who it is.

Option number 3 - with another guest

Calling someone and is not necessary. After midnight, you can watch this fair at the bar: everyone who is sitting alone, staring at one point and finishing his drink, ordered another two hours back, waiting for the same lonely soul mate, wishing at least one night to feel free again. Not all of them will end up in the room in pairs, but the vulgar jokes and drunken laughter as an attempt to bring back the days of youth fun accurately included in the program of the evening.

The hotel - a place to change. Porter on the pleasures of love visitors

Option number 4 - with his mistress

And sometimes in the hotels come with a specific purpose - to change. Most often it is a man, though unfaithful wives, I also saw a lot. The hotel - a perfect place to hide, especially if it's big, and not the only one in the city.

In this case, the wives are doing everything to catch their husbands. They call to the hotel and started to cry (or, on the contrary, warlike - depending on temperament) voice asked:

- You live Andrey Ivanov ?! - We do not provide information about our guests to unauthorized persons, - the administrator can only be answered with a phrase.

But as a rule, for the wife, this means that her husband did wrong in us, so often we simply say "no." We do not have any Andrei Ivanov.

But there is a clever wife (probably just more experienced) - they act smarter.

- Hello, my husband, Andrew V. Ivanov, stopped you today. He's roaming is not connected, connect me with him, please.

In such a case, the administrator is looking for this guest in the system and transfers the call to his number, and we will never know whether he was waiting for her call and she just skillfully calculate its location. Therefore, the wrong husband once got into this trap, advance warning:

- John, I live here incognito. With anyone I did not connect. I'm not here.

The hotel - a place to change. Porter on the pleasures of love visitors

In general, the behavior of the men at check-in, you can see how long has he been practicing adultery in hotels. Newcomers are nervous, they do not want to provide a passport, lie, that they will live alone, and the girl - it's just a sister, coffee and drinketh leave, and if I start to explain policies and to demand documents both guests newcomer breaks to cry and make foolish statements:

- And my wife call you too, huh? Passport will take and will blackmail?

Experienced as a man quietly puts two passports, fill all the papers, and then quietly and calmly said:

- Yanochka, calls on me to translate it?

I smile, get your tip, and everyone is happy. And I'll answer questions about the couple simply "no". But there were times when my colleagues whether from pity, or from a great mind tells his wife the truth: "Your husband is here with her sister ..." A sister is not there, and his wife something knows about it, and after half an hour worth in the lobby, and it requires the keys to his room. One such woman driven to despair once came to our hotel and at first politely asked to call in a room of her husband. The conversation she began softly:

- Honey, go down, we'll talk ...

The man on the other end said he did not know the woman, and hung up. She tried to call more, but he did not answer. Then we stopped to give her phone. She sat with us in the lobby for several hours. It was already late at night, when he came down with his long-legged companion to the bar. Then his wife got up from the sofa, and taking some bottle from his pocket and yelled:

- See what you brought me!

The man obviously did not expect to see his wife here, but the main reason for panic all the witnesses of this scene was the contents of the container, which she opened, repeating, "this is what you brought me ..."

She was going to throw himself (rather than a mistress, as expected) acid, but the guards time to react. All contents appeared as a result on one of our sofas, which the next day changed. Mistress in tears left, and husband and wife had a beer at the bar, spoke emotionally, asked forgiveness of protection for us and went to the room already together. We are very glad for them, but soon forgotten, because domestic showdown - a family affair.

The hotel - a place to change. Porter on the pleasures of love visitors