What to tell the child that he heard you
Talk with your child - it's an art that many adults is given with difficulty. We think that we are talking, and the children make their own. We demand that the child's understanding, but they refuse to understand it. Go to the cry, blackmail, set conditions, in general, operate with a position of strength.
However, we do not like ourselves, when we are speaking in this way. If we listen to ourselves, we realize that nothing would not listen to the one who calls us so. At the very least, it would have harbored resentment for sure.
That the children feel the same. And how can resist - because of their age.
But contact with the child may be different if the parents will take into account the feelings of the child and particularly the child's mind. On simple but effective words that will help to establish contact with the children, read the article the teacher Irina Khmelnitsky.
10 almighty words for parents
Simple, powerful and effective speech. Here you will not find a "thank you" or "patience", even though they, of course, also very important. Our post - just a reminder of what we already know from you how we feel and make mistakes.
Whisper. Even during the work in the school, I have promised not to raise his voice to the students, and in general to anyone. Creek - a manifestation of his own weakness. But children, especially small ones, to respond to the tone more than the content of speech. How can reach fidgets without elevated tones? Checked: the only medicine that is more effective than the cries (though they are even with the best intentions), - this is when you bend the ear of your baby setting in front of this eye contact and start talking - very quiet. This requires parents to high self-control. It gives amazing results. may be. Because to say the traditional "no" - as if to remove the baby from the safety device. Ban "head" can provoke a tantrum, especially if the child who hears "no", hungry or just tired. As an alternative offer "maybe" - at least that's honest. It's better than add fuel to the fire with the endless "NETov". If children ask: "And we go out now," I calmly announce: "Maybe." And he adds: "If you will remove all the toys on the shelves quickly and will put on." It helps motivate children to behave appropriately. And then it's simple: removed toys, dressed - went to the street, not removed - is not gone. It is important that adults do fulfill their own promises. The words "see" and "a little later" are just as effective.
I'm sorry. The adults also make mistakes. What to do? We are not gods. We are ready to apologize to the relatives, friends, colleagues at work. And our children need is not less courtesy adults. This simulates a respectful attitude towards others. The children really need to see is a chat - a good example sets the format of future behavior, but also helps us to understand that no one in this world is not perfect, that, in general, it is true.
Stop. A signal to stop the child interrupting his actions that we want to stop, and tells you what to do instead. If children are worn around the apartment, it is useless to lecture, by saying "Stop!" And provide a tool: "Sit at the table and fold the puzzle / build a castle." Uslovtes with the baby in advance that "Stop the game!" Affects all without exception, in all circumstances: all operations are terminated (if the game is against the rules, it becomes dangerous, unpleasant, too noisy ...). The main thing - do not zlouportreblyat this powerful tool, otherwise it ceases to be effective. Eyes. We all listen more closely, looking at the other person's eyes. When I want to make sure that the guys I really listen and hear, I ask: "Where are his eyes?" Hint: you need to say it calmly, rather gently, with a smile, or neutral, otherwise the kids just do not want to look at you. Who would want to meet eyes with an angry and screaming man? And as soon as the child's eyes glued to you, you own child vniamniem.
Learning. If our child makes a mistake, the aid comes the phrase "It's okay, do not worry - we all learn!" She also useful to protect against sidelong glances from people who are judgmental look at us with a child. In the end, we all learn, vklyachaya and those drills we look.
You can! Remind your child about it, when he doubted his abilities. Failure - this is just a signal that the baby will achieve the desired result, if you put a little more effort, potreneruetsya. Tell the children that you know that they can. And be sure to open the secret: a lot of what you're doing for yourself easily when something required from you as much effort.
Be! When the children ask questions, give them their eyes and attention. When kids about something talk, listen. Be with your child. It means so much for the little guy. Once, on the way home from kindergarten, my three year old son, asking for a hundred the first question, I realized that I answer mechanically "yes-no" (strength after a day at the end), and the conversation I still want to support. In the end, I heard the insistent: "Well, Mom, tell me! You do not say! "The children immediately feel how we progruzheny in conversation with them. Always! It is not surprising that where children are always noisy and restless! Tantrums occur, cleaned out sweets, canceled entertainment. But some things remain untouched. And our love for children - among them. very important to tell them about it. Especially in those days, once something has gone wrong, feeling exhausted, and the forces at the end. It's part of the ritual of the evening before bedtime. I hug her son and Gauvreau him: "Mom loves you and will always love, no matter what happens." Children are very important to know and to hear that our love for them unconditionally. Constant. Indelibly. Always!
Laugh. Many things that us as parents are annoying, most likely, would not be so if we could just laugh at them. A good laugh - great reset button if you want the switch.
The truth is that these 10 words are helping not only the parents, so be stronger, to attach to the parent vocabulary.
On the motives of Becky Gaylord
Text and Translation - Irina Khmelnytsky